Dear Universe - Diary 30

I was talking to my friend Lisa about writing a letter to the Universe.

Of course we took this from "Eat, Pray, Love".

My letter to the Universe would go something like this.....

Dear Miss Universe, wait, scratch that...

Dear Universe (don't want to mess with her OR him, not sure, so I'll just stick to not labeling her/him)

Ok here we go...

Dear Universe,

First I'd like to thank you for all the snow and cold you have sent our way. I'm in no way being sarcastic, but I am wondering why you felt the need to do this to us?
Oh, that would Dear Mother Nature huh? oooof

One more time.

Dear Universe,

I want to be happy, I want my family to be happy. I want health and love for my myself, my family, my friends and my followers (now don't say I have never done anything for you).

I would not mind having my body back, you know the one, pre-kids? yeah, you remember. It was an awesome body. I know it was pre-computer and pre-working a lot, and not taking care of myself, but I promise to change if you guarantee is coming back. I'll start right after I finish this milky way. I promise, but remember to give me a sign.

I'm going to throw it out there, but I wonder if there is a chance that Lisa and I can find a huge tub of melted chocolate so we can dive head first when we are pmsing? I want to add that the chocolate need not be hot, warm and bubbly will do. Maybe I should not write these letters when I'm pmsing, but it seems to be the time when I want to let out the most.

Menopause can totally take its time getting here, maybe I can beg you to divert it for say, ever? I don't want to get greedy with my requests, I just think menopause and premenopause can really just stick it!

Simply said, I want love, happiness, health, no menopause and a chocolate tub (with some strawberries to dip if possible).

Respectfully yours,

Sandra

Front and Center - Diary 29

Who are you? really.

Today I was asked to take a poll about friendships. The question was: If you know your friend is doing something wrong that is hurting his/her relationship with you and others. Do you tell him/her? Do you not tell them?

She wanted no "depends". It had to be yes or no. I was on the depends fence until I decided to either say yes or no.

I said YES. It's not always well received though. You can have the best of intentions and get slapped in the face. I'm sorry for anyone that has go through friendship crisis. They can consume you, specially if you truly are a good person and you not sure what to do. Noone wants to be mean and risk losing their friends. Everyone has feelings.

It got me thinking about my past relationships. You can totally put something so far in the back of your mind, yet one question can bring it all right back, front and center.

After a series of unfortunate events, I learned to be teflon and not sponge. People can be vicious, but I make no excuses, I let myself be dragged there, to the bottom of the pit. To be honest, I really wanted to be a part of a fun group, to fit in, to do what I've always read about; fun vacations, sharing books, sob stories, dreams...you get the point.
There is a very dark side to friendships, they can end in a very cruel way. Again, no excuses, I really had fun for a while.

Have you ever become so fascinated with a group of people that you know you best step off, but you just can't? That was me. Two years of it. But it wasn't all a waste. I did manage to salvage some friendships that were neglected while the saga was going on. I got my sanity back and I can't blame anyone for it going away.

I am lucky. My family always came first and they pulled me right back up. Eventually, I also pulled myself back up, and have not looked back, no need to regret anything. Experiences make you grow and become a better human being. I was a good person before, now I'm a better person that is a lot more guarded.

This is my story, my diary, not a literary gem. Just my experience, and I'm lucky. It's all going back to that place where I really don't need access to.