Random - Diary 39

I've been to the motherfucking mountain top
Heard motherfuckers talk, seen 'em drop
If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock
And when I bust yo ass I'm gonna continue to rock
Get you ass of the wall with your two left feet
It's real easy just follow the beat

How I love you EMINEM.

That is all for today folks.

;)

Slipping - Diary 38

Can you say, let’s throw diet out the window, say fuck it and eat everything on the south side of the house? Yes we can! And did!

Sometimes we are so good and the pounds drop one by one, two by two and twenty five.

This weekend was a hard weekend, but there have been other ones. This one was hard for reasons I don’t want to detail. I’m at the end of my patience, the tip of the iceberg has been chopped off. Tired of seeing the crazies loose, tired of listening to the daily complaints, the stress of the upcoming wedding I’ll look awful for, and the bullshit of the daily grind. Thank god for that man that I profess love for on a daily basis. He sets me straight.

Freaking migraines that prevent me from blowing my nose without pain.

I gave up today, I ate bananas, strawberries, bread, a freaking donut, hazelnut coffee, some ice tea and a god damn hazelnut coffee (I typed that twice for effect). Yes, I had all that today plus a steak. No potatoes, just tomato and corn as accompaniment. Had to draw the line somewhere. The bread was so good, the sub kind, it melted in my mouth; or my mouth was so hot from drooling the bread just slid through. Sick, I know.

Denial of my current state of affairs drove me to watch 5 episodes in a row of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and then RuPauls show for the rest of the afternoon. In between those shows, I went to the market, bought three pairs of shoes (guys, shoes NEVER make you look fat and they always fit), helped my husband with the driveway, my son with his homework, made lunch and dinner, did 5 loads of laundry, cleaned the stove/oven and talked to my friend L.

I do a lot when I’m on a self pity quest.

My mom is leaving on Friday with my grandfather so he can have surgery with his dr. in South America, and I won’t be there to help. What if something goes wrong and he dies? Why doesn’t anyone every want to talk about these things, everyone rather just press the ignore button and ride along as if nothing? What if Friday morning is the last day I see the man I love so much? Why can’t he have the surgery here? Why do I feel like I’m about to blow, and not anyone that will thank me for it later?

Well, I just finished watching Sherlock Holmes and now I’m all dreamy of Sherlock Holmes. My friend got drunk all afternoon, and I ate all things bad for me. What a pair we make. I know he’ll be ok by tomorrow, recovering from his personal crisis, while I can’t be sure of what tomorrow will bring. Dude, you sent me muffins and chocolate kisses. I still think you rock big time for that.

One thing is for sure. Lil C calling me aunt S, and sending me kisses over the phone while saying ok ok ok ok made me smile when I didn’t think I could.

Tomorrow I have to start from 0 again, what a fucking drag.

At least I have my sanity.

Hey, at least I don’t pretend my life is perfect…so there.

Note: it’s pretty close to perfect though.

Where was I? - Diary 37

I was taking a break, soaking up the sun, getting a tan, relaxing under a palm tree, drinking beer and not getting drunk, laughing often and with feeling.

That's right, I took a vacation.

With my great husband, my kids and great friends.

Met some cool people but neglected to capture them on film. They don't know I like to blog. I don't think they are the blogging type.

J.A.M.A.I.C.A. mon!, it was groovy. (Does anyone say groovy anymore?).

The food was delicious, fish, fish and more fish. All types of fruits, and veggies by the dozen. Some curry chicken and some other funky stuff I tried a little and liked it. A bartender who made me laugh and knew the fruity drink I liked (without alcohol). Watching grown ass mothers drunk at the bar made me sick. Only temporarily because otherwise I didn't give a shit.

No tv watching, no computer (well, I did sneak that one day for two hours), no cooking (oh yes), no making the bed, no responsibilities other than making sure the kids ate and didn't wonder off. The nanny was a success at the resort, she took Em, and he took to her quickly. The kid was born to have an entourage. Did I even spell that right?



How much do you love how quiet my spot was every morning? lovely view, silence and a lot of beauty.

A lot of peace.

Peace is good.



Some color is always good....
Welcome to Jamaica mon, no problem!