Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A hope - Diary 40

writers block Pictures, Images and Photos

Offense - Dog running at large. This the latest thing to happen in my wonderful life. My dog decided that she needed a stroll down the main avenue to visit with the kids. By the time my husband noticed, someone had called the cops. Thanks neighbors, you all suck ass. Except my neighbor across the street who took my dog and told the cop to wait for my husband because she is a fucking sweetheart (insert Eminem lyrics here)the dog, not the human. Now my husband has a court date for 'dog running at large'. I was 2 hours late getting home, I'm always home at this time and she's with me.

I wish I could write in my own column, but then would it piss everyone off if I tell their tales? Of course I'd have a pair of expert eyes edit my column, but not so much it would take the feeling from my words. I like my words to convey feelings.

Funny things happen to me a lot. People do great stuff around me, and have the best stories, but I can't share them. How fucked up is that? My kids alone would give me a ton of new material daily. I know I often sport the "what the hell is wrong with you?" face.

It's frustrating to know how fun it will be to write these great things, but I can't. Well, maybe if I change the names to protect the not-so-innocent. No worries, I don't have enough discipline to write everything down, just have some great stories for when I'm old and bored.

Remember the time I said "it's google beoch" and you said, "what is that?" and I said "google?". You said "No, what is beoch"? and I said, "omg, you really need to learn some lingo" and you said, "I'm really out of it, my kid calls me grandma".
I thought that was pretty freaking funny.

How about when my dad told me that he was so distracted he left the house and used the car key control to close the door. He heard the beep from the car that was parked closeby, and thought the door was closed. Classic baby. You can't make this shit up.

This morning E gets out of the car and says - "MOM, see this mark here, it's a spider bite. I didn't tell you, and now the venom is all inside me. I'm Spiderman." I told him, Ok E just don't go trying to climb any trees in your new clothes. What else am I supposed to say?

Yes, I need my own column, preferably in playgirl haha. j.k.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

That sucks about your dog. I don't think she was going to visit the kids, she was looking for you!

Your words always make me think, and that's a good thing. Not many people can do that.

Is it bad if I've done the same thing your dad did? No seriously, I have!

xoxo
D

PS. I'd read your column ;)

SM said...

Thanks you. Sorry it took me so long to reply, I've been running around like a lunatic.

:)S.

Jerry said...

It wasn't too long ago that my wife and I were getting ready to head off somewhere. We entered the garage and for some reason I thought we were taking one car and my wife thought we were taking the other car. Yep. Both of us weren't paying attention. She walked to the far car and entered the passenger side, and I got in the drivers side of the nearest car.

We both settled in and then turned and looked through the cars at each other. The was dead silence for ten seconds, and then we both burst out laughing.

Anonymous said...

You are so funny and although I do not know you, I would read your column. Sounds like you have a lot of funnies to share.

The news lately are very depressing, we need some comic relief.

Best - T.

jane said...

Haha, Spiderman. That's adorable. Kids really do say the darndest things.

Blasé said...

Where have you been?

SM said...

Jerry - I swear I just LOLed, that is awesome!

Annon- thanks...one reader down...a million to go haha.

Jane - my son is my source of entertainment

Blase - I'm here, just going through some really tough times with my grandpa, he's getting worse :(
I just don't want to write my anger out.
Thanks for asking <3

Laura said...

Your column would be a blast! But first you gotta finish that Shadow tale! Where's the next installment, btw??

Hope your grandpa will feel better. Just the fact that you are taking care of him and love him helps more than you know.: )

xoxoxo

Kristin said...

Thank you so much for following BonBon Rose Girls! I hope you'll follow us at our new site...we went and got our own .com at: http://www.bonbonrosegirls.com/ Plus, we're hosting lots of fabulous giveaways this month to celebrate our move...Right now we've got two $95 hapari swimsuit gift certificates up for grabs! Hugs, K

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Dogs and humans certainly make our lives interesting. But dogs have an excuse.

Your dog was just looking for you. Sigh. Mankind is rarely kind. Roland

SM said...

Thanks Kristin!! :)

Roland - she was and has not left since. The police did not make him pay any ticket since neighbors (other than the ass that called cops) vouched on Kias lovely personality

RaShelle said...

Hi - Wanted to say thanks for stopping by my blog and becoming my "friend 200". Also, you're hilarious. How's E? Any new spidey skills? That was a great little morsel. Thanks for making me laugh.=D

SM said...

Hi!!! sorry I took so long to reply.

latest E story...he wanted to know what douchbag was. His sister said "something you should not say" and then she asked me what it was. If I could film those moments, I could make a movie haha

200 yey! i find that a great honor.