Thursday, November 19, 2009

How low do you need to go - Diary 2

That same day my friend Lisa (and also co-worker) told me of a request for someone “addicted to soda” to write into a show and see if they would get picked to appear. I’m sure she didn’t think I’d write it, but then I’m also certain that she thinks I’m nuts.

I wrote an email that I thought was pretty funny (and they seem to agree). Honestly, I was being silly because I was already in a foul mood that my Dr. told me no more soda, no more this, no more that and no more of the other thing.

Two hours later I get a phone call from the producer of the show and he asked if I could go to the studio the next day and be on the program. I hesitated and thought about it a lot. I’m 40, I do not want to make a fool of myself (yet I did, I’m so sure of it). They sent a limo for me and did my hair and makeup. I looked great. My Facebook picture is one Alexa took after I got home and still had the hair and makeup done. Cherry on top…they sent a limo to take me to the studio and to pick me up. I can’t talk about the show and what I did, but when it airs (if they ever do), I will surely let everyone know to watch, point, laugh, rewind and repeat.

I’ve been off soda for a whole month now, I’m amazed that all it took was hitting bottom to see that I happen to like living and hanging out with my family. It sounds drastic right? I’m just being dramatic for effect, I never let myself HIT bottom, I just graze it and then I pull myself up and out. It’s a skill many would pay to learn, I’m sure.

We’ve been having dinners with my family every Tuesday for the past 2 months. I love it! I really do! I feel so complete right now, like life has taken a giant step and full circle is steps closer. I believe that everything we do is to get us closer to completing the circle. You can close your eyes and imagine it, make it any color you like. Mine is red with hints of sparkles. Sometimes when big events happen I can imagine it moving forward, and sometimes I can see it pulling back. We all need something to push us in the right direction, a little something to make us believe that one day it will all make sense and we can be finally completely happy. No one but those who have come full circle knows what complete happiness is. I wonder where they are. I’d like to meet with them and pick their brain. They might be too happy to give a shit about meeting with me though. No room for me once the circle is complete, how sad, they will miss out on knowing me.

This year has been a fun and funky one. I turned 40, hung out with friends, loved fully, was loved in return and the negatives are forgotten and buried. I truly wish everyone that has come and gone from my life the very best. I’m in a wonderful and scary place and hope for positive energy to come my way. It’s not always possible but I hope for it. Let’s all wish and open ourselves to move closer to a full circle.

My sushi is here so I’m going down to get me some! Peace and love bitches.

A little shout out to my stalker, I’ll be waiting for the heavy breath phone call.


Jim said...

OMG, you really ARE a rockstar! Can't wait to see the show! But don't look to me for a conversation with someone that has come full circle. I'm only about 270 degrees, but I'm getting there. Took another big step just today.

I'm so happy you are blogging again. I've truly missed it from you.

SM said...

More rockstar than you can ever imagine. haha.
270 is not bad ;)
what big step?

Anonymous said...

YAAY my Rockstar Princess is BACK!!! Or is it my Rockstar Bitchess!!! RED, RED, RED... that is the color of my half spun circle with two gaping holes in it!!! I sometimes try to take an ENTIRE spin around the circle in one day! WOW! I trot along but since my circle is not complete I sometimes venture out of that happy place!!! One thing is for sure... You will always be a link in my chain! You bring me nothing but PURE joy!!!

Love you and soooo glad you are blblblblooging again!!! Please Please Please don't let me miss the show cuz babe you EFFIN ROCK!!!

BIG hugs and little kisses!!!


SM said...

Just realized how much I've missed you and not cause you love me, but because you make me smile all the time even when I know how hard it is for you to. oxoxoxoxoxoxxo