Friday, December 18, 2009
End of year bleep - Diary 7
So there I go, around and around wondering what is the meaning of it all? At the same time, pondering ways to make things better. Do we ever get it together? I’m sure I’ve asked this question before, but I fail to receive an answer that suits me or comforts me.
Sometimes at night when I’m bored or I need a break, I stalk blogs. I read and laugh at the fun things people are doing, at the idiots who obviously love to comment on their own blog over and over to show that they have loads of comments too. Oooops is that negativity I spew? Meh, I’m allowed, it’s the holiday season, and I’m entitled to be a little peeved and certainly a little perverse.
I noticed that whenever I click next blog I get some sort of Christian blog. Is it me or do way too many religious people like to blog and mention god 84k times in their blog? I have my beliefs but sometimes it gets ridiculous out there. I say – click, next, but there it goes again.
My holidays will not be as years past. My baby girl is with my in-laws in South America. Am I happy about that? NO, but I know it’s going to be an amazing experience for her. I’ve talked to her every day since she left and she’s happy, healthy and getting a tan. I love that kid; she really knows how to party.
What a year it has been, not all bad but definitely not all good. To think that last year I had made by this time a trip to Las Vegas and one to sunny California. This year the trip I planned did not work out because of things totally beyond my control. It’s all good, next year, I will make sure whatever I do, will be for my family and for me. Are friendships a thing of the past? Maybe I am a hard person to be friends with. Never mind, I am not sure I want to know what people think about me. Someone once told me, “What people think about me is none of my business”. I may not be the best communicator in the world, but I do love intensely and cry just as much as the next mush that gets her feelings hurt. Losing a friend is always hard, no matter the reasons. I have to believe when I look back at things that we are always changing, evolving, and no matter how old we are, we are still learning. No day goes by that you don’t learn something new, if not about yourself, then about someone you know. Keep strong and your heart protected at all times, it’s a bumpy ride and you are bound to get hurt. That’s my thought on that!
After reading the above I will conclude that I’m one freaking complicated individual, but one that is wearing a size less in jeans so STUFF IT!
It’s going to snow this weekend and it’s already butt dark outside. I love watching the snow fall, but cleaning the car is not my favorite thing. I can lie and say, well, I’ve lost weight, I’m feeling the cold more due to less body fat. I’m lying but it sounds freaking good right?
Is anyone watching the Housewives of OC? Oh my lord (that’s for the god bloggers out there). Can you say Botox galore? Can they be any more superficial? I do feel like they really do forgive and forget and still party. I can’t do that, it’s hard for me to move on. I would not last a week on that show; I’d be destroyed by the first back stab. How sad that I admit that right? Well, heed the warning, I break easy, handle me with care. I’m told I project too much, to that I say, fuck off.
Aight peeps, going home to make some delicious red velvet cake, cause I got it like that!