Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Front and Center - Diary 29
Who are you? really.
Today I was asked to take a poll about friendships. The question was: If you know your friend is doing something wrong that is hurting his/her relationship with you and others. Do you tell him/her? Do you not tell them?
She wanted no "depends". It had to be yes or no. I was on the depends fence until I decided to either say yes or no.
I said YES. It's not always well received though. You can have the best of intentions and get slapped in the face. I'm sorry for anyone that has go through friendship crisis. They can consume you, specially if you truly are a good person and you not sure what to do. Noone wants to be mean and risk losing their friends. Everyone has feelings.
It got me thinking about my past relationships. You can totally put something so far in the back of your mind, yet one question can bring it all right back, front and center.
After a series of unfortunate events, I learned to be teflon and not sponge. People can be vicious, but I make no excuses, I let myself be dragged there, to the bottom of the pit. To be honest, I really wanted to be a part of a fun group, to fit in, to do what I've always read about; fun vacations, sharing books, sob stories, dreams...you get the point.
There is a very dark side to friendships, they can end in a very cruel way. Again, no excuses, I really had fun for a while.
Have you ever become so fascinated with a group of people that you know you best step off, but you just can't? That was me. Two years of it. But it wasn't all a waste. I did manage to salvage some friendships that were neglected while the saga was going on. I got my sanity back and I can't blame anyone for it going away.
I am lucky. My family always came first and they pulled me right back up. Eventually, I also pulled myself back up, and have not looked back, no need to regret anything. Experiences make you grow and become a better human being. I was a good person before, now I'm a better person that is a lot more guarded.
This is my story, my diary, not a literary gem. Just my experience, and I'm lucky. It's all going back to that place where I really don't need access to.